Guys, this is my little brother, Reese. He just turned eight last March, and he is in second grade. He had found that he prefers guys to girls. When he told his friends that at recess, they threw rocks at him. Rocks. He came home crying, saying that his friends had called him names like “faggot” and “homo”. Second graders called him these names. I explained to him that it is perfectly okay to be gay, and that I will still love him no matter what. Unfortunately, my parents don’t agree. He’s been set apart from the family and his friends for his sexuality, that he has no control over. I’m not doing this for notes or to gain followers. I’m doing this to show Reese he will be accepted by many people no matter what sexuality he is. Reblog if you support my eight year old brother, no matter his sexuality.
Parents that are homophobic bigoted assclowns-your children did not come into this world knowing insults like ‘faggot’ & ‘homo’. They learn that shit from you.
My father and I don’t have the strongest of relationships in my opinion. I feel it is a communication issue. I know he knows it isn’t something you fix over night. Our ways of communicating is different in certain aspects, we won’t address something unless it truly concerns/bothers us or we just keep it to ourselves and hope the thoughts and feelings go away. It does make me wonder how this has affected our father-son relationship and development since the time of my birth. Today was exceptionally interesting and I keep playing the moment in my head.
Today I spent the evening with my father. Our one on one on my end always leaves me feeling tense. I feel this is a childhood “sixth sense” in fearing rejection or confrontation. Do I have anything to be confronted about? Nothing I can think of to be honest, but I always feel there is something on his mind and I was right this time around. He said, “I have something I need to get off my chest. I know you’re gay and I am not ashamed of it and I still love you.” You can imagine what I was feeling. I couldn’t move and I automatically could sense my breathing becoming rapid. I, myself, am not ashamed of who I am. It took a while to get used to being who I am, but I had come to realize that I am me, I am not who people want me to be, society will always have a certain structure in mind of how people should act or look, but it is us who has to become comfortable with ourselves. As long as we know what is right from wrong we should be happy with ourselves. I am getting off topic…
How this was brought up I am not sure. There was nothing really leading up to this conversation. It was quite sudden and I sat there to listen to it all. He has mentioned talking about me with one of his childhood friends he knew in Mississippi he visits from time to time. Her sisters are lesbians and I just popped up in the conversation. My father said he just mentioned I was gay and they talked about it like it was a normal every day conversation he would have with anyone. He also said that she is the only one he has mentioned this to. My uncle, grandparents and anyone else for that matter do not know. I wanted to tell him my brother knows. I wanted to tell him I was not sure what my mother thought of it considering we haven’t had a real conversation about it. I wanted to tell him so much he has missed in my life but this moment was something I was not prepared for. I want my father to have a very effortless relationship with me but my childhood fears of rejection and abandonment are still strong in my life. I know he has no control over my life. I am independent, pay my own bills and make my own decisions. I just can’t get over how he is now in comparison to how he was back then.
I feel he is getting older and to not acknowledge or accept me as his son the way I have always been is a lost cause. He realizes this and for that he is trying to make up for the lost time and the little communication we have together beyond work or stories we can relate to the current subject matter. When I was in high school I tried to come out to him. He was frustrated by my efforts. I remember I wrote it in a letter and gave it to him before I went off to school. He never addressed the letter. I was the one who had to bring it up and he said he still loved me as his son and I thought I was finally free of the denial and depression that chained me to my darker days. I was wrong… His love for his children is unconditional, but love and acceptance and supportive of your child is different. He loved me, but did not approve of my life. He restricted me. I was not allowed to have any guy friends sleep over when my brother would have his friends crash at our place freely. He said if he saw or heard or found out I was with any man, he would pull me out of school and send me to live with my uncle in America. My uncle lives in the middle of nowhere surrounded by many many pets. I love animals but this was excessive and the stories of people getting sent to a place that was farm-like in nature never ended well or happily for the most part. I know what my father is capable of and I did not doubt warning/promise. What confused me in today’s conversation was that he said he “always knew that I was gay.” If you always knew then why didn’t you support me? I honestly feel it would have development me differently and some of the decisions I had made would have been shaped differently. Would I have been a different person then I am now? I don’t know. Maybe I would have had a happier time in high school and struggled less afterwards. I can’t say, I am only making assumptions but I do know it would have impacted me somehow.
The only thing I can do now is move forward with my father. I know he is apologizing in his own way for how he reacted and treated me then. I can read in between the lines. Hopefully our relationship will become stronger and I don’t have to hide or become precautious with him anymore about my “gay life.” My life is what is it and he is missing a big part of it. But this talk we had… well, more so he talked and I listened made the best part of my day and I hope it is only going up from here.
I’ve been very open about my relationship with Adam to my friends, co-workers and people alike. I talk to my aunts about him and my older brother. The people I don’t talk to about it is my parents…
My parents are aware that I am gay but it is something we don’t talk about. Last year my little brother surprised me by saying something along the lines of me having a boyfriend. I neither confirmed or denied it with him. I am not ashamed, not one bit. It just caught me off guard and my stepdad was nearby so I didn’t want to continue the conversation in fear of his reaction. I just feel it is something I shouldn’t throw in my parents faces unless they bring it up first. With parents it is a bit different. Deep down they love you but at the same time they have expectations. Some people can change, other people are stuck in their ways. I can only be patient and wait till they come around which I believe they have. Baby steps, baby steps…
I am sure my dad and stepmom know that Adam and I are a couple. We live together, I brought him over to see them and my stepmom asks about him from time to time. I hardly brought anyone over to meet my family in my life time and Adam is the first person I brought to my parents house since I’ve moved to Texas back in 2010 and the first boyfriend I have ever had that I wanted to introduce my parents to. One day I will do the same thing when it is time to meet my mother and stepdad.
This is where it gets interesting. The last conversation I had with my mother was after the holidays. She still lives in Okinawa with my little brother and my stepdad. They will be moving here to Austin in the Summer, however, my stepdad will still be working there while my mom takes an early retirement (which she deserves) and move back to the states with my little brother. Talking with them always involves either a late evening or 2am morning effort. The conversation began very casual. I asked if she saw the pictures I attached of my graduation she couldn’t attend. She said she saw it and then the surprise came. She mentioned the boy with the long hippie hair being my boyfriend. I never once brought up or shown my mother any pictures of Adam and I. The only person I can think of is my little brother Kazu on Facebook or my older brother Russ. Maybe it was the picture itself and how happy and close I was holding him to me. Either way she now knows WHO he is and WHAT he looks like. This caught me off guard. I didn’t know how to react and didn’t want the pleasant conversation we were having to become sour if she had bad things to say about it all; so I changed the topic and moved the conversation in a different direction.
This is a HUGE leap for my mother and I. I feel like she knew she was losing touch with me because being a gay man and being her son was something difficult for her to accept for the longest time. I remember when I first made an attempt to come out of the closet she called me a freak and that I needed to go to the hospital to get fixed. This was the worst of it all she said to me. Now she see’s that her negative reaction has pushed me away and it has. I am not as open of my life as my older brother is about his and he keeps better contact with her and he is the one in Iraq at the moment. Does that make me a bad son? I don’t think so. I do make efforts to call around holidays, birthday and the like. I should make better effort but its all baby steps as of now. This new development of my mother acknowledging my relationship has been a positive move forward. I hope I can continue going forward with her and bring her more into my life that she has missed so much on.
I believe if my parents just accepted who I was at the beginning of it all it would have made a difference in my life. I appreciate the fact they are moving forward with me and I can move forward with them. This has been a great way for me to start the new year and I am very blessed for it to have had happen.